May 2011
The tale of Fuckin' Al
Fuckin’ Al is a fellow who is a friend of the family. He goes by Fuckin’ Al in conversation for two reasons. One, my father also goes by that name, and to not get them confused, we have to give him variety. You may ask why we don’t call him by his last name, but I’m getting to that. The second reason is because this man is insanely good at card games, and is so good he...
April 2011
xoxliv-marie:
There She Goes - Sixpence None The...
It's when popcorn starts entering my face in giant...
If Ashley and I Got Married
fleshbonesandsoul:
It would be Muppet Treasure Island themed. I’ve decided.
There is so much truth in this, I can’t begin to describe it.
“I love Jesus, but I drink a little.”
– Gladys (via fleshbonesandsoul)
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Analysis of Tom from (500) Days Of Summer as a...
brosephstalin:
joshishollywood:
Summer is rather up front with Tom about her intentions
Tom says that’s cool
It’s clearly not cool
But he says it’s cool anyways because he thinks he can change her perception of relationships
He can’t
Summer does exactly what she said she was going to do
Tom hates her for it
Tom cries and is a complete dick to everyone
The joke here is that Tom is not a...
Apparently, washing all the floors in the house is...
I call it housework.
Sure, it takes me four hours, but it’s gotta be done.
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I've played Wind Waker for a total of maybe 5...
Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to have a game about sailing. With a talking boat.
The only joy I get out of this game is every time Link makes his “what the fuck is this what did I get myself into” face, like when his boat talks to him.
White Person Woes
It sounds pathetic, but I can’t decide whether to go to sleep for a few hours and wake up at, oh, five in the morning to watch the wedding, or to simply stay awake all night and watch.
Reason being, I am a incredibly heavy sleeper. I’ve slept through an earthquake and a thunderstorm that knocked down tree’s all over my neighbourhood and drew up a tornado at the edge of the city....
1 tag
Work Story: a 20-something male I rang through
During my moments of working at cash today, I rang through a 20-something guy who was buying a box of condoms. Not that I’m all innocent and don’t fucking know what condoms are for, nor do I care about his life in any way, I just thought of it, and found it rather peculiar.
I barely even noticed what I was until I had to flip the box over to check if there was an EAS tag on it, so it...
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I tried watching the new episode of South Park. I...
The Human Centipede is never funny. It’s a disgusting movie, and it shouldn’t ever be parodied.
Nothing in this episode was good. I don’t even know why I watched it.
South Park is no longer a funny show. It quit being funny about three years ago.
Thanks to my brother and I both watching one...
Uh, thanks, I guess. Netflix has my back in case I ever feel like trying pot again.
An oddly ignorant, but hilarious, comment.
We’re leaving the tea shop and get into K’s car.
K: Shit, you left your burrito in here. M: What? K: Your burrito. You fucking left it in here. M: My bad. K: Now my car smells disgusting. M: No, it smells like new car and Mexicos. A: Mexicos? M: Fuck. Mexicans. Shut up.
Also, one of my cats was literally sitting on my hands while I typed that last post. She full on sat on the back of my right hand, and didn’t seem bothered at all that I was using it to type.
Either I’m a crazy cat lady who just accepts their shit, or I’m the greatest person ever.
How my night turned out to be pleasantly awesome
I was supposed to go out for dinner with some friends from school who were all finally back home from their respective school’s out of town. The original plan was to go out to the local Mexican restaurant, then back to one of their houses for a night of drinking and general non-sobriety.
Today, one of them said that they couldn’t actually spend the night. Another just got a job and...
2 tags
likeabattleaxe replied to your post:Friend doesn’t like your favourite restaurant/bar
ooh. where where?
The Huether. One of my friends has informed me she doesn’t like it, and I am disappoint, because I love that place. Delicious food, awesome atmosphere, great patio, pretty competent servers, decently priced drinks, confusing layout that makes you feel superior when you understand...
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Friend doesn't like your favourite restaurant/bar
Less of a friend.
Palahniuk & Chocolate: The kinds of things I think... →
palahniukandchocolate:
I wonder what would happen if a royal ever fell in love with someone with a really non-traditional or really dated name. Like, would they be forced to change it? The royals themselves are probably always going to name their kid something like “Charles” and “William”, but what about the person the…
The queen had a granddaughter named Zara, the daughter of Princess...
I'm going to play LOZ: Wind Waker for the first...
Yeah, I know I’m eight years too late.
Pretend to be a Hacker (just start typing fast) →
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“It was a nice day.”
– Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Submitted by alexxiv
(via novelfirstsentences)
