a-tay-crowlor: semblanceofnormality: in all my life, I have never encountered such an astounding act of trolling as the time I spent an hour and a half downloading what I thought was a Good Omens fanmix and then discovering that it was a Best of Queen album. whoever did that is my hero
Kieran Kane & Kevin Welch - You Can’t Save...
mrgolightly: Johnny Cash - God’s Gonna Cut You Down
Thanks, Australia, for your copious amounts of...
I’m pretty sure you just breed them and release them onto the world, because six out of the twelve performers at the Busker Carnival this year came from your country. (Do you raise them to be crazy, or is it an average thing to have a woman from Melbourne fit herself and a regulation sized basketball into a sixteen-inch square box?)
brightstartheory replied to your post: A DIY pedicure from Women’s Health Magazine’s… Witch hazel is actually a pretty common thing to own. You can get it in the vitamin section, I think. It’s used for like skin problems. See, I’ve never heard of it until now, and from how pretentious-sounding that concoction sounded (and subsequently the rest of the instructions), I assumed it was...
[[MORE]]Today, we had a light debate on what a ‘chode’ was. I was of the party who proclaimed it was a dick that was short, but thick. The other party proclaimed that it was the area between the balls and the asshole*. One swift urban dictionary search later, and lo and behold, we were both right. It was a good moment. Then everyone held hands and someone passed around gold stars and...
A DIY pedicure from Women’s Health Magazine’s website says that, when soaking your feet, to put some tee tree oil, witch hazel, epsom salt and peppermint/rosemary oil into the water. What the actual fuck is witch hazel. Who even has that on hand?
Apocalypse Now (1979)
My cat intended on knocking down the toy Mjölnir that my friend left here. I shouted at him that it would break this house in half if he did it. Instead, he knocked over a birthday card that played the Tequila Song. It landed open on the floor and started playing, and he jumped down and started hitting it, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. Then he sat on it.
I’ve watched the episode of Archer where he gets breast cancer so much I can almost quote the first five minutes word for word. Stop me before my life gets too pathetic.
My brother is going to Fan Expo, and is driving two of his friends. Not even half an hour after he left, he called and said that the transmission in the van wasn’t working right, and he needed us to come switch cars so that they could continue going. We get there, and his two friends start unloading their stuff out of the van and into the car. One of them is wearing a shirt that says...
The Smokes Poutinerie in my city opens on August...
NOT SOON ENOUGH. These five days will be five days of agony, my friends.
My mother told me that I would know when a tornado was approaching because it sounds exactly like what an approaching freight train sounds like. We live a not-even thirty second walk from the train tracks. How do I know whether it’s just a train coming or a tornado.
I could never take the covers of the US editions of Harry Potter seriously because they way Harry was drawn looked exactly like my neighbour, who was a woman in her late thirties.
Chilling a pudding cup by using my window fan because it’s 10C outside right now and warm pudding is nasty. Am I lazy or am I trashy?
Dear sister, When your friends had their first child three months ago, you don’t call her ‘the kid’ or ‘the thing’. She’s a baby. You call her ‘the baby’. When she can walk, talk and eat on her own, you can call her ‘the kid’. Until then, it’s baby. I realize you’re a bitch, but honestly, ‘the thing’?...
o-k-compooper: souschen: i think instead of the woman taking her husband’s name when they get married or doing the hyphenated thing couples should just smash their last names together so like if a Smith married a Grabowski you could be Smabowski or Grabith or Grasmithski and then as the generations go on the names just get more and more ridiculous why aren’t we doing this There’s...
Almost three months after my birthday, and I...